Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
