Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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