I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
