2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
