doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize