I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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