Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Hippo gnu deer
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
