apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
