This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
