did you get engaged???
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
