If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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