if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
