You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
