Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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