You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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