i just wanna soil my oats bro
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
