hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize