I wanna bring you to show and tell
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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