found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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