We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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