so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
