I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
