are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize