he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
