worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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