dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
