I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
