It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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