The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
