He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
