How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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