If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
