seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
