whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
