So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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