i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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