I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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