Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
