he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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