You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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