her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
