It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
