Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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