i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
