I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
