Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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