is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
