Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
