gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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