You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
