member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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