If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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