I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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