Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
