I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
dude. I can hear the air.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
