O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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