Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
